Cobra 00:00 - 01:00
Hot on the heels of their new album RockNRoll Machine, the Norwegian deathpunk dictators are set to headline Helldorado. Besides some brand spanking new anthems, there will be plenty of classics full of Turbonegrossness for denim sailors, Jugend gals and Apocalypse Dudes. Before they land in Eindhoven the sextet is going on a glory ride around the globe, so this show is bound to be beyond epic.
Cobra 22:00 - 23:00
Hailing from Germany’s capital city, this Doomsday Machine fires off weapons of mass distortion, based on Blue Cheer power trio tactics and Sabbathian proto-metal dipped in Hawkwind’s acid. Steering away from überheavy stoner and endless jams, Kadavar has the punch of a grand garage band with tons of good songs and the skills to nail ‘em in a Berlin Wall of sound.
Lion 21:00 - 22:00
Some ten years ago DeWolff hit the ground running as a young trinity sounding way beyond their age. Nowadays they’re seasoned musicians in their own right, ever sharpening their self-proclaimed raw psychedelic southern rock, letting that Hammond soar. And they’ve been around, from Russia to Australia. Next stop: Eindhoven.
Cobra 20:10 - 21:00
During the ten year run of Speedfest, the almighty Zeke were always on the shortlist, but that was in an era the Seattle speed kings never got out of the USA and went dormant. Last year marked their glorious return to these shores while the first new album in fourteen years was in the works. Hellbender turned out to be one motherfucker of a record, kickin’ everyone’s teeth in once more. Get in gear for faster-than-thou rock & roll of the most bludgeoning sort. Zeke You!
Lion 19:25 - 20:05
Listen to Lemmy: “If you don’t like the Supersuckers, you don’t like rock & roll.” Of course Mister Kilmister was spot on as he always was, but this time around Motherfuckers Be Trippin’ for sure, because the Supersuckers will play “The Evil Powers Of Rock ‘N’ Roll, new hits and other classics.” You read it right: on the setlist is their entire 1999 milestone, from the rockbuster title track to the album’s end slam Hot Like The Sun. And then some!
Cobra 18:45 - 19:20
The Dwarves pull no punches, literally. In 1990 they played a show after the release of the all-destroying classic Blood Guts & Pussy. In the front was a teenager called Nick Oliveri. When singer Blag Dahlia leaned over during Astro Boy he punched Oliveri hard enough to give him a proper black eye. That’s when Oliveri knew he wanted to join the Dwarves. Keep that in mind when you see them at Helldorado, ‘cause their knock-down punk rock is truly about not giving a fuck. In a catchy way, mind you.
Death Do Us Part Danger Show
Cobra, Tarantula -
At the first Helldorado this husband and wife couple got such a great response, we didn’t think twice to ask them back for the second edition. Charlie and Rachel Atlas perform vaudeville antics on the razor’s edge. They take knife-wielding and sword-swallowing to the next level and put the ax back in sex.
Tarantula 19:15 - 19:55
Some of the best bands are founded in a pub over a bunch of drinks. That’s how Greenleaf started in 1999, when a couple of Swedish pals talked about their love for good old 60’s and 70’s rock. As guitar player Tommi Holappa (who also plays in Dover) puts it: The sounds, the grooves, the simple ‘just have fun and play whatever you feel.’ Judging by the superb stuff these lads come up with, that’s the way to go.
The Rock ‘n Roll Wrestling Bash
Lion 16:30 - 17:45
This rumble jumble of Mexican wrestling and metal-up-yer-ass rocking is a perfect fit for Helldorado. While the Galactic Trash Wrestling Alliance bash some heads in the front-stage ring, The Wrestling Bash Orchestra crank up ironclad rock songs with the heaviest of riffs. Berserk to the next level.
Nick Oliveri - Death Electric
Tarantula 17:00 - 17:45
How things happen in the weird world of Nick Oliveri: as a 15 year old kid he appeared in the groundbreaking Cro-Mags video for We Gotta Know. Three decades later he joined original Cro-Mags frontman John Joseph’s band Bloodclot. Go figure! Of course he’s known for countless collaborations and tons of bands, like Kyuss, Queens of The Stone Age, Mondo Generator and the Dwarves, to name a few. Josh Homme described him as a “rock & roll komodo dragon”. Brant Bjork — another former bandmate — said Oliveri is a “connoisseur of highs”. All of the above comes together in his latest undertaking Death Electric, so don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Cirque du Mort
Lion, Cobra -
Glasgow’s freakiest entertainment phenomenon is a spectacle to behold. Cirque Du Mort combines magical circus, stunning burlesque, thrilling danger and side-splitting comedy. Every punter can be flabbergasted by fire-breathing, aerialists, sword-swallowing, acrobats, jugglers, knife-throwing, terror clowns, outrageous nuns, pig-headed hellions, stilt-walkers and astonishing costumes. By the same token, if Lady Fortuna is with us, there will be a real-life mermaid!
Cobra 14:30 - 15:10
Two members of Swedish boogie rockers Marulk and an ex-bass player of extreme metallers Rotten Sound changed their course with Monolord. Thanks to new-found chemistry they build elongated eerie hymns for disciples of doom, psych jams and sludge fuzz. This culminated last year on Rust, the widely acclaimed album which landed Monolord on tours with Black Label Society, Red Fang and Conan, so you know something heavy this way comes.
Tarantula 18:10 - 18:50
Last year at Helldorado we had Big Business, the gold-standard of two-man-bands. The Picturebooks are from the same tree, but from a different branch: two German brothers from another mother, bringing the essential fucked up blues in 24 Carat songs. For instance, Zero Fucks Given might be the best European blues song ever made, be it with a severely eerie ring to it and the almighty boom to match it underneath. Call it Teutonic twang, either way we go out sliding with a bang.
Cobra 17:30 - 18:15
In the beginning there was The Oath, a band that brought hard seventies rock with a female twist and a sound for thiscentury. From the ashes of The Oath rose Lucifer, coming across like The Devil’s Blood was on a heavy Heart trip. Now there’s the second and even better installment of Lucifer, featuring drummer extraordinaire Nicke Royale. Yes, the man we know from Entombed and The Hellacopters, to name a few, he who played a blinder at the first Helldorado with Imperial State Electric. Need we say more?
Cobra 16:15 - 17:00
Death Alley’s first outing was a split release with Peter Pan Speedrock in 2013 and since the demise of PPSR, Death Alley carry the torch worldwide as the main hard rock & roll band from the Lowlands. They approach the magic of rock with a psyched-out punk vibe to kick out the jams in this day and age. These Supernatural Predators roam from Boogieland to Superbia.
Tarantula 23:45 - 00:30
The greatest band ever to emerge from France belongs to the giants of the psychobilly universe. Banane Metallik have branded their style gore ‘n’ roll. This unparalleled sound is strengthened with punk, metal and more of The Good, The Bad & The Ghastly, garnished with onstage extravaganza.
Lion 15:20 - 16:00
Vurro is not a one-man band, it’s a lone creature feature. Half man, half cow, this mythical being from rural Spain plays modified organs left and right, kicks drums and sound pedals with his feet, smashes cymbals with his horns and all the while elbow bells are ringing. The shamanic honky tonk rock & roll rhythm is wondrously infectious, so before you know it you’re making mad cow moves.
Tarantula 22:00 - 22:40
Where would such an outlandish style as psychotic flamencore originate? Danmark of course! Peter and Kristian Sandorff were part of Nekromantix’ heyday and together with bassist Jeppe they are bringing something fresh to the fore. Is it the three amigos of gringo a-gogo surfdustrial mariachi mania in a spaghetti splatter western on Dia de Muertos? Close, but no cigar. In the name of the muthas, the scum and the Hola Ghost, can we get an amen?!
The Vintage Caravan
Tarantula 20:50 - 21:30
Three Icelanders reap the best elements from the ashes of vintage rock giants. Whether it’s creeping like a glacier or as eruptive as Eyjafjallajökull, their wall of sound can divert a lava stream. No wonder the aptly titled epic Expand Your Mind is a million-streamer. The recent album Gateway is already heading for those heights, so go with the flow, even if it’s a pyroclastic flow.
Tarantula 16:00 - 16:30
Jeffrey Dahmer was known as the Milwaukee Cannibal, but The Dahmers are from Sweden. These skeletonalists are sonic serial killers, making every song a bloody hit. They sling just as much sweet as sweat in hair-raising rock & roll, as if Phil Spector produced The Candy Snatchers during Halloween. Their latest album ‘In The Dead Of Night’ is a mutation of garage punk, rampant rock and sixties pop. According to them: “A Frankenstein’s monster of music.”
The Hip Priests
Tarantula 15:00 - 15:30
The inbred, oversexed, white trash bastard sons of Iggy P, Johnny T, Lemmy and Handsome Dick. A glorious mess of rampantly sexual, souped up, lubed up, fucked up, low rent, hot assed anthemic spunk rock & roll. Jesus died so they can ride: zero fucks given with 20.000 watts of lust from the saints of excess.
Drown the Clown
One of the longest running Dutch carnival acts has splashed more water around than our last major flood in 1953. Clown Johnny is making a mockery out of everyone who misses the mark with their projectiles, but once you hit bulls-eye, down the clown goes in a tank full of water. Don’t feel too guilty though, the man can swim.
Cobra 13:30 - 14:00
This tight four-piece has evolved into a fully formed garage- and punkpop-influenced outfit after outgrowing their origins glamming it up on the Sunset Strip. Prima Donna’s fifth album was released on Wicked Cool Records, Steven Van Zandt’s label for quality rock & roll of all sorts. In this case it means rock deluxe from the City of Angels.
Lion 14:15 - 14:45
Ken Russel’s cult movie The Devils combines sex and horror with religious lunacy, so it’s befitting this Italian twosome took their moniker from this wicked flick. Erica Volgare is the rubber-lovin’ nun of fun on drums, Gianni Puzzadidio is the guitar trashing priest. Together they scream more frenzied than a preacher in heat possessed by the archfiend. Voodoo Rhythm’s foulest get primitively fuzzed up and savage as hell. Come and sin, you sinners!
Tarantula 14:00 - 14:30
This power trio hails from the cheese town of Alkmaar, but they sound the complete opposite of cheesy. Instead del-Toros ramp up Octowaves of fuzzadelic stonersurfrock & roll. You might recognize guitarist Guido as The Shavers sidekick for the late, legendary surf maestro Cock de Jong. Anyone who can hold his own next to such a bona fide guitar ace, is worthy of a spot on Helldorado. And, we dare say it, del-Toros’ music could be in a Guillermo del Toro movie.
Tarantula 01:00 - 01:45
Former Spades frontman Denvis teamed with members of T-99, Maison du Malheur and Pauw to play sixties tinged exotica and garage trash. The HelloWeeners’ approach is a far cry from the rock-out-with-yer-cock-out shenanigans of The Spades, but nonetheless it goes ‘ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long’ with a bunch of classics for swing-alongs or sing-alongs and a few hits of their own for some serious asskicking-and-a-shaking.
Johannes de Boom is a tree of a man. As the rambunctious voice of one-of-a-kind surfrock giants The Shavers he became a sight to see across the Lowlands. His current endeavour is not as loud, but again all about life. Under the monicker Het Orakel (The Oracle) he answers miscellaneous questions from the audience in a playful manner. Don’t hold back, The Oracle’s got your back.
Cassi Nova & Miss Riskina
Tarantula 20:15 - 20:30
In the snake-handling churches of the South the zealots believe their lord will save them from venom. In the freakshow cathedral of Helldorado we flip the script: the Snakes of the Divine put their faith in Miss Riskina. She’s not just a burlesque dancer with a live snake swingin’ along on her hips, she’s truly a fire-breathing serpent goddess.
Cockroach Comedy Chapel 16:00 - 16:45
“You fucking cunt! I’m Austalian, that means hello.” Welcome to the barmy world of John Robertson. One of his accolades: “Amoral stand-up for the morbidly inclined.” Or as he calls it: “Sadomasochism disguised as comedy.” When this Aussie antagonist performs in England, he’ll steal a beer from someone in the front row and say: “I will treat this delightful fluid the same way the English treated Australia, so this is mine now. I will apologize to you in 200 years.” Cheers John!
Cockroach Comedy Chapel 19:00 - 19:45
This London-based Canadian has been portrayed as ‘a cleverly subversive comedian with shaggy hangdog looks.’ One good example of this is the way Glen Wool tells how difficult it has become to cross international borders since the Twin Towers went down: “It’s even harder to get through customs if you look like me, which I don’t understand, ‘cause I don’t remember a Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band having anything to do with 9-11.” Indeed, you can laugh and relate simultaneously when Wool is on.
Cockroach Comedy Chapel 17:30 - 18:15
Here’s what Ricky Gervais had to say: “He’s been one of my favorite stand-ups for about ten years. Adam Bloom not only has meticulous, brilliant lines, but also an intense honesty.” We couldn’t agree more. But then again, Bloom has the last word: “We’re all clever in retrospect ... unless you don’t know what retrospect means.”